A song to remember

Not much to say here… just that I absolutely like this song and the videoclip.
Kamelot was my revelation in regards to music at the end of last year.
So here it is, a song by Kamelot with the amazing Simone Simons.

Kamelot – The Haunting

The Haunting – Somewhere in time

Maybe the sound of your voice
Made me believe that that you were her
Just like the river disturbs
My inner peace

Once I believed I could find
Just a trace of her beloved soul
Once I believed she was all
Then she smothered my beliefs

One cold winter’s night
I may follow her voice to the river
Leave me for now and forever
Leave what you can

Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You’ve fallen deep

I was a liar in every debate
I drew the forces that fueled your hate
When the cold in my heart leaves it comes to an end
Quietly now go to sleep

How could that first time recur
When memories linger on and on
What made me think you were her
Helena is dead to all dead to all

Nothing can bring her to life
Don’t pretend that I’ve been loving you
Once I believed she was gone
I corrupted from within

Leave leave me for now and forever
Leave what you can

Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You’ve fallen deep

I was a liar in every debate
I drew the forces that fueled your hate
When the cold in my heart leaves it comes to an end
Quietly now go to sleep

Follow me into the light
Dance on a lake of tears
I’ll take you through
Or leave me tonight
I’ve gone too far to begin all anew
With someone like you

Somewhere in time I will find you and love you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You’ve fallen deep

I was a liar in every debate
I drew the forces that fueled your hate
When the cold in my heart leaves it comes to an end
Quietly I’ll go to sleep

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Haunted by Immortality


Really?

Hmm… It’s hard to start writing about something which keeps knocking on the back doors of my illusive self for so many years.
Why Haunted? And by what?

Well, as all people must die in the end, all of us get to a point when the great Ender haunts our thoughts. We see or hear about dead people around. And we know it, but we repress the thought of our own ending. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a depressive post by any means. It’s just something I want to express, on how I see things. Back on track now. So, we see the entropy at work around us. In the past, in the present and in the future. And there is sorrow and despair in what passes to the shadows domain. But… it’s all in our mind, in what we perceive and what we formulate in our thoughts about what the world seems to be…..

That’s right, we are now close to the heart of the real problem. The mind… the ego… the self and his fears.
From my personal experience, all I can say is … stop the mill, stop the mind… and you will be free, or, if you want … immortal. We are not talking here about physical immortality, can’t have that in an entropic Universe, in the current state. We must think (or stop thinking…) about what is left when the mind is sent to sleep but we are still there, observing, sensing, feeling, rising on the biggest wave of silence.

When the mind is silenced we make a step in the other direction, towards ourself, towards the only seed of immortality we have. Call it inner self, spirit or God’s Seed, whatever. Usually we are oriented towards the world outside, or what we perceive to be outside. So, it’s that simple, stop the mind and immortality will be achieved.
Well 🙂 it’s not that simple. For the average human to stop the mind for a minute is like trying to stop the Earth spinning. Just try it… Do a simple exercise, take a wrist watch/clock with indicators (not electronic screen numbers) and try to watch the seconds pointer for 1 minute without thinking at it or anything else in that time. See how hard is that… Now imagine (just imagine, or do it if you can) how would it be to close your eyes and just be. No thoughts, no sounds, no inner waves, just like watching the full blue sky without clouds. Try to hold onto that, don’t let the great deceiver grab you, and you will be a step closer to … immortality (if we call it like this).

Now, why haunted? Since this is a post about “my” perspective, I will say. I am haunted by the wish, the will to stop the mind. I remember each day to stop a bit and feel what, where, why “I” am. Is this hard? It’s not about being hard, it’s about remembering to do it… And yes, … “I” can watch the clock for a whole minute without thoughts … But still, haunted. And aging. And so many times I get swept in the tricks of the mind and forget.

In the end all I can say is that hope never dies as long as we are aware and we remember to be…
For me the “fight” goes on. There are many ways to “fight” the mind, many tricks to overcome, many “spells” to cast. If I will have time I will write about what was tried by me and really worked.

Until next time, be happy and … stop the mill 🙂

A good weekend

.Unconventional start.
I just wrote the whole blog post on my mobile phone (Opera Mini browser) and…. the text was not saved. 😦
So no more bloging from mobiles for me… sometimes we have too much faith in technology… and me, as a tester, should have known better.
.End rant.

So what about the weekend?
Well, it was a good one. A bit of house chores (who doesn’t love them? :)), a bit of food creation fiesta and lots of time spent with the kids.

Maya is a bit … difficult to manage/live these days. She’s stubborn, anxious, fast changing, eager and bored in the same time. We really have to emphasis alot on the NO and DON’T parts… She even stamped a wall… But, a sweety after all. And beautifull, soo beautifull. See the image at the end.

Now to the “little” part. Brian. He’s a lovely fast growing boy. Lots of laughing, gurgling and eating. I just love him. And Maya too. And my Lady too 🙂
We are glad Brian is OK now, just small irks and bits we have to watch out. I spent quite a chunk of my time watching over him (feeding, wondering, diapers and stuff).

What about the rest? Well, we had a visit from some family friends. Eating pizza, talking and watching kids playing was all about it. A bit tired after, but all is good.
And, the last but not the least, I had a good time spent with my Lady. We just wait for the weather to get warmer, to walk in the park, to be embraced by the Sun, to watch the kids play and laugh.

And me? As usual, family time, as described above. Beyond that I started watching Storm Warriors and Tears to Tiara. I just love animes. So touching.
And I got a fixation to try out Homeworld 2 (again..) and Freespace 2. But still, WoW eats most of my tiny spare gaming time.

Oh, and being weekend, I almost forgot. My dear Lady started teaching me how to play (on our “piano”) the great song Sirenia – Seven Sirens and a Silver Tear
All I can say is… listen to it. Great effect and sublime interpretation.

Now to end the brible, I’m back at work. Meetings, usual stuff, blah… Java-ing around.
At least my Lady and Brian visited and he made everyone around smile. A

Maya Diana - and her family :)

P.S. ATM listening to Siebenburgen – Levande Begravd

The same … but lighter:)

Well, things add up in the end. And if you love and hope things should settle as expected.
I feel lighter now, no more drifting in the dark. No drifting at all, doh.

A bit of talking, a bit of sharing, a bit of what you hold dear in life and the Sun shines again.
To turn and accept life in simple terms maybe harder that some think (including me). Well, I learn something everyday. What matters is to remember…

My Lady is the One.

Now is time to move on from the hollow domains, and be what I chose and have to be.

See you soon.
P.S. What is a “Neuromancer” and a “Negaterium”… will have to explain that someday…

Floating in the myst

Just looking into me. I stop the mill and it starts again and again. And I stop it again 🙂

Boredom… if I sit “comfortably” at a certain level. If not, then things are flowing in silence.

Back to work today, interesting stuff ahead, gotta adapt and learn new things. Testing, testing, probing, testing, reading, testing, writing, testing…

Other than that … woof woof…