There was only darkness around. It was safe. The usual night.
And then the dream bloomed. A city, some city, no name, no identity. Tall buildings, no souls around.
I ascend, the wonderful sensation of flying through space, by mind alone.
And then I look at my hands … and I smile. I became Aware and Present. I fly with speed through the Dark City. I watch the dark sky and then my hands again. Descending to the ground, the wonder of the silvery light fills me.
I walk and I see strange gardens with dark flowers. Looking around yellow lights follow me… and I still wonder that I have so much energy to sustain the flight and the Awareness.
On a glimpse a dark tall building appears, like a mausoleum, made of dark granite, like an old castle. I fly to the top and then the energy starts dropping… With a last effort I manage to grab the ledge and get myself up on the roof.
Looking around I see only Fog.
Anomaly is evolution.
Breaking the boundaries is evolution.
Making the leap beyond the edge is the only way to break free.
It is happening. Not always, but from time to time.
A glimpse, that is. A door that opens.
I find myself on the edge of something. Something which I cannot really put into words, just metaphors. It’s like sitting on an edge. An edge of something. Something like a great ocean, or a great cascade of silence. A vast view of nothing to remember, a great pause of all I know. Let’s name it Nagual or … whatever. It doesn’t matter the name, just the impact. I just sit there and See. The Great Divide. Just being. Samsara and the Unknown, face to face. I’m not split at that moment, I’m just the Observer. The feeling transcends all feelings or thoughts. Because there are none. The mill has stopped. Infinity is stalking me…
The moment has enough power to shake me. A glimpse of … what I cannot really describe. It’s magic, beyond words and yet… the road unfolds ahead.
After a while the train of thoughts starts marching again.
But I remember.
And I will Hunt and I will return. I will Stalk the self, I will Hunt the I and then the Dream will unfold again.
I sleep as one and dream as many.
I wake between the dreams and each time it’s a different facet of my inner reality.
The dreams rotate and take me to many realms.
Still I remain … the same.
A life to live, a dream to dream, a song to listen. And then I’ll dance, oh yes I will.
A dark chant in my heart. A blink of an eye. A sound wave to travel on.
And I dreamed again, long dream of flying and ascending. There was light and darkness. There were voices and decisions. A goal was eluding my sight, but I kept on rising and traveling.
When I woke up all was forgotten.. For a while. And then it bubbled up through my awareness. And I remembered the flight, the feeling of moving thru space, to hover above the world, the feeling of freedom and detachment.
A great silence engulfed me then in reality, a well-being feeling, a peace of mind, body and soul.
I’m still bathing in that silence, still traveling the inner sea. A dark chant is following on my trail.
So there is hope.
Listening my own thoughts, I stare into the darkness. I see my own breath rolling over my mind.
Sitting down I shift, my second sight takes hold of the vision. A deep vibration runs through my being.
Lost and found, forgotten or forsaken, the clouded vision engulfs me again.
Silent, I step down from the throne the ego built.
Now I remember.
There was a fleeting moment, a glimpse into myself, a self mirroring. The mind was crunching again notions, facts, happenings and fortunately the Observer was … observing. For each moment remembered there was an “I” until there occurred a realisation – between the “I” and the next “I” it was a translation, a jump, a stretching, a … something… and “I” lost its meaning. To put this into words, hard it is… “I” became a self viewed process, became the ghost outside the shell.
Since then, a shadow of doubt obscures my view, I look, I listen, I perceive .. but is it all the same? I feel like a buoy in an infinite sea, having roots but still too much weight to always stay above the waves. Sun, sea, sky and me. And infinite crossroads. What do I choose? How do I struggle? What is the meaning of the “I”?
A Ghost in the Shell. The name of an animation movie which left me longing and thinking. It had a certain impact on me, a message to receive beyond the actual techno-fantasy it presents. A message about trans-humanity, about an uncertain type of future. The swan song of humanity as we know it.